23 August 2014

Somebody Loved - A Message for my Dearest Yaya, 40 days later

You turned me into somebody loved.

When I was young, I dreamt of running away with you and having you adopt me as your real daughter. For a little girl who always felt neglected and ignored, who couldn't understand why her parents are hardly ever around, you were safety and home. Your simple love was the one thing I never had to work hard for, never needed to ask for, never begged for. With you, I never had to put up pretenses. I didn't need to win any pageants, top any exams, or accumulate any talents. You were proud of me because I was your kindest alaga, and that was the ONE thing I was always proud of.

The past weeks have been difficult, and I always feel like I'm drowning. But I'm soldiering on. I'm going to keep doing the things I don't have to do to make you even prouder of me. I'll take care of my parents and I'll raise my siblings well, just like you taught me.

If there is a heaven, rest well and give my regards to our family and friends there. Someday, I'll find you again.