15 June 2012

To You Who Most Deserves To Be Loved

How they could have mistaken you for anything less than amazing is something that confounds me to this very day. Though we haven't spent so much time together, I have no doubt that you are as sensational in person as you are in my wildest dreams. Perhaps even more so. Yet for some reason or another, Fate had decided to deal you a bad hand. What you could have done to offend him as a mere speck of dust I could not imagine. Frankly, if I had my way I would have kicked Fate in the nuts.

That is, if it wasn't for that one moment of humanity where Fate brought you to me. You, who brings me up whenever I'm down and gives me a reason to keep growing and moving on. You, who has been my constant source of inspiration. You, whose opinion actually matters and whose approval I constantly seek. You, who I often disappoint yet still believes in me unconditionally.

You, who until not so long ago hasn't even felt love.

I ask myself each and everyday what I could have done in your place, how I could have dealt with everything you had to go through. Truth is, I could not imagine ever being in your place, because I never had to. And it is all thanks to you.

So I count the days, the hours, the minutes. Counting down to when I will get to spend another moment with you. Then, there is also that morbid part of me that's counting down to when I can no longer be with you. That part that paralyzes me with fear and helplessness.

To you who is reading this, who is blissfully unaware of to whom this rambling is addressed, I clarify now. I write this for the man responsible for half of my genetic make-up. The reason I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve. The reason my standards remain so high. The reason I keep hoping for a better future, yet have ready back-up plans should it not turn out so. My first and one true hero.

This is for you, papa.

You know I'm not the praying kind, but each and every day I thank the powers-that-be that you were able to meet mama and that you had us. We who always miss you, who always fight over who gets to sit beside you, who look up to you, believe in you, and love you. So I will keep aiming, and I will keep striving, and I will always aim to make you proud.

Because no one deserves to be hurt the way you have been, and no one deserves to be loved as much as we love you.

Happy Father's Weekend. A day will never be enough with you.